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Did you feed the birds today?

Suivre
The idea that one could step out, the fetishised alternative – to finally exit – lingers at every corner of self-hatred, boredom, despair, and fatigue.
As if you didn't know how it feels to lose. As if you didn't know how it feels to lose at dice with fate.

At least have some dignity.
As if it wasn't a lifetime spent on connecting the dots, there was no pattern.
As if the irony was more than a defence mechanism and we could actually laugh for a change.
As if steel hooks in our backs were more than a nuisance and we could actually feel something.

Self-crucified – missed the right tree.
Tore the wrong eye out.
The hissing of hellfire.
Self-crucified – missed the right tree.
For this I've gained a victory.
I burn as I ought to.

As if everything was to be made right one day, dreams don't come true for people like us.
As if the gods were bored with peace in our hearts and their fingers are itchy.
As if we never broke people out of sheer boredom and slept calmly among the wastes.

And then, we see bright and clear.

As if we would be someone else, while mindlessly wandering through the mountains.
As if we would be someone better, spelling purgatory in Latin alphabet.

Self-crucified – missed the right tree.
Tore the wrong eye out.
The hissing of hellfire.
Self-crucified – missed the right tree.
For this I've gained a victory.
I burn as I ought to.

As if all this was something more than another footnote on a postcard from nowhere, another chapter in the handbook for exercises in futility.
À battre les cavaliers, leur faire bouffer la poussière, ramper jusqu'à en perdre les jambes, jusqu'à en perdre les ongles, gratter la terre, se perdre jusqu'à en oublier ses membres.
Outils vivants, nos bouches béantes suivent le mouvement.
Attendre les bombes la bouche grande ouverte.
Thucydides impuissants contemplent l'éternel acharnement à s'achever, nos corps en fuite, nos corps en plaies, l'éternel mouvement de nos pieds.
Attendre les bombes la bouche grande ouverte, les larmes se mêlent à la cendre, embrassent le feu en trombe, embrassent nos corps pétrifiés qui hurlent.
Par économie pendant la crise on éteint la lumière au bout du tunnel.
Somna in min kära,
somna så sakta in.
Bort från en värld av pina,
bort från en värld som aldrig blev din.
Drooling red from my eyes to meet the bitter sun that shines past into light.
Setting fire to curtains in hope that you're dreaming.
Destroying the tomb of memories from your life.
In the room full of family, but couldn't find one.
In the hallways lit up brightly, but couldn't find myself.

I laid drunk on the concrete on the day of your birth in celebration of all you were worth.

I am my father's son.
I am no one.
I cannot love.
It's in my blood. 
Hi, how's it going? How's the weather?
Presumably, you have now agriculture and civilisation, yes?
How's that working out? Is everybody well-fed?
If not, why not?
Are you held hostage to weapons you built yourself?
If so... why?

A very long time from now you'll realise you had the materials to build heaven all along – you just lacked the blueprint, and if we gave it to you now, you would only build hell.
You'll work it out.

We predict you have simple spacecraft – congralutations.
We predict you have simple doomsday weapons – commiserations.

When you claim your thousandth sun... think back to your first, and how you once believed it was alive.
Leur monde est trop petit, du lit à la fenêtre, puis du lit au fauteuil, puis du lit au lit.
Ty döden är vår mor.
Den enda i vars famn utsläckes ledans lågor –
en trygg och fjärran hamn.
Perhaps you've had a good look around to the black, and noticed just how quiet it is out there.
All dim, all pale, so leave me on the pyre. The feast is over, and the lamps expire. Act your old age. Relax. This won't hurt.
shine in purity
Pleurer dans les bras d'un pendu.
Tu vois, je t'embrasse avec les yeux. Souffrir, à en devenir aveugle.