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Irsa/17/ If this is a nightmare, do not disturb my eerie sleep, but let me wander in the hell of my own mind, rather than those of others.

In certain cases, returning to something old, is the best new begging you would ever need.
''You are saving their lives, for a life not worth living.''
- Bird Box
Do you hear me in your mind?
Do you feel me in the cold?
I am the voice of your doubt
reaching from your core.

When you're on crossroad of emotions
and wonder if you have  to leave or stay.
I'll tell you that it's over
but also, not to let it go.

I've been here from the start
wide awake and ready
ready for your call
to trap you deep inside.

Not every doll is pretty. Some of them are just lifeless.
Am I a liar for not showing my cracks?
If it stops your breath and your lungs are completely healty, oh dear, then it's not ''just in your mind''.
Sometimes it's not even a feeling, or an emotion. It's just there and it destrucs you.
Can't we just pretend we don't sink in misery and smile against the fear and what breaks us? Can't we be just fucking motherfuckers that will beat the shit out of life, when life brings us down? Why do we give up without even trying to fight? It's so easy to say that we can't, or it's impossible, but why do we do it? Are we really that weak? Or afraid? This is not the society I want to be part of. And I am not going to be.
Break through your own walls. We put our borders ourselves and limit our minds and dreams.
 Message to Myself
Sorry for the sins you've done
and for the madness in which you sink
Sorry for the wasted smiles
and for the tears you've spilled.

Sorry that you've lost it all
and sorry that I don't care.
But we all know that
one ''Sorry'' doesn't change the facts.
You didn't need love. You wanted and needed hope. You wanted hero. Someone who would be next to you to save you. Someone to teach you, but I'm not that person. I am the worst role model. In everything. You need hope and I am hopeless..
Raise your voice from your lungs and scream into the sky how fucked up is everything, but you are still alive and still fighting.
Your  biggest fight is not with your demons, but with your angels. With the demons is easy
 They just take you and when they do it you are reliefed. But the angels...no. They are the ones who tell you what is wrong. They feed your blame and shame. The truth is that the demons just want you on their side, while your angels try to destroy you.
Don't say ''Goodbye'' when you know it's not the end. 
Sometimes I feel like I don't belong. Not just that I can't ''find my place here''. I am only a kid, but I already know the words of the ''wise man''. I am only a girl, but I don't feel like the delicate ctreature they expect me o be. I am only a human, but I feel like a demon. Not because I am bad. Just because I am me.